honey

I crashed my bike.  Twice.  On. The. Same. Day.  No joke.  I mean I totally crashed and fell to the ground in a tangle of limbs  and landed under my bike.  All I can say is – thank goodness I was wearing a helmet or we might not be having this little chat.

Saturday was gorgeous here in Charlotte, so we decided to ride our bikes to the park up the street and check out the trails.  Now, I’m not the most coordinated person on the planet.  In fact, I’m quite clumsy and highly accident prone. But there’s probably a reason for the phrase “just like riding a bike.”  Am I right?

I mean, seriously – little kids do it every single day!

The first face plant was on the corner of a busy intersection.  You know that feeling when you know you’re going down, you can see it happening kind of in slow motion, and there isn’t a darn thing you can do about it?  Yeah.  That happened. I’m not sure which is worse – the fall, the landing, the multitude of witnesses, or the fact that I was almost at a complete stop and somehow managed to crash my bike.  People were probably wondering what in tarnation that crazy woman was doing. Fortunately, I think it happened fast enough that it isn’t likely anyone was able to take a video, so I don’t anticipate it going viral on YouTube or appearing on America’s Funniest Videos.

One crash wasn’t enough, so the second time we were on a bike trail in the woods.  I crashed and landed in the bushes.  At least only the wildlife saw that ridiculousness.  Chris was ahead of me so he didn’t see it either.  He came back when he heard all the foul language coming from the bushes.

I finally made it home in one piece and immediately drowned my humiliation and celebrated the fact that I was alive with an appropriate choice of beer – Ballast Point Victory at Sea.

Speaking of beer (I didn’t have any before the bike ride) I’ve been putting it in everything lately.  This bread was made with Dogfish Head Palo Santo Marron Brown Ale.  I really wanted a honey brown, but we didn’t have any and this was the best option at Publix.  I just added honey to the recipe.

This recipe makes two loaves, so I left one a simple brown ale bread and stuffed the heck out of the other one with bacon, gorgonzola, and figs.  I drizzled the top of the plain one with honey to make him feel a little more special.

While I was lying on the ground in a pool of humiliation, Chris said, “Damn chick, didn’t you ride a bike when you were a kid?”

“Yeah, that’s how I got that scar on my knee.”

Update: Chris said this is me: Top Gear

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Brown Ale Bread Stuffed with Bacon, Gorgonzola, and Figs

Ingredients

• 1 cup whole milk
• 2 tablespoons butter plus another 1-2 tablespoons for coating the bowl and pans
• 1/2 cup warm water
• 2 packets rapid rise active dry yeast
• 1 cup brown ale or honey brown ale
• 3 tablespoons honey 1-2 more if you want to drizzle it on top prior to baking
• 1 tablespoon salt
• 7-8 cups all purpose flour
• 1/4 cup gorgonzola crumbles
• 2-3 pieces of cooked and crumbled bacon
• 3-4 dried figs diced

Instructions

1. In a saucepan, heat milk and butter on low until butter is melted, remove from heat and let cool until warm to touch but not hot.
2. Slowly stir yeast into warm water and set aside for about 5 minutes
3. Combine brown ale and honey, heat in microwave until warm, 45 to 60 seconds - you don't want it hot, just warm
4. Pour beer/honey mixture, butter/milk mixture, salt and yeast/water into a bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the dough hook
5. Set mixer on medium speed and add flour 1 cup at a time until dough is formed and it isn't super sticky - you can turn it out onto a lightly floured surface and knead a bit to finish
6. Grease a large bowl with butter, add the dough ball, flip it to get butter on both sides, clover with a clean linen kitchen towel and set it in a warm spot to rise for about 1 hour and doubled in size
7. Punch down an turn onto a lightly floured counter
8. Divide dough in half
9. Knead one while continuously adding bacon, figs, and gorgonzola alternately - about 5-7 minutes until all the air bubbles pop
10. Knead the plain loaf about 5-7 minutes, until you feel all the air bubbles pop
11. Grease two round cake pans with butter, add one dough ball to each pan flip it to coat both sides, cover with the kitchen towel and let rise in a warm place until doubled in size - about 30 minutes
12. Preheat oven to 375
13. Drizzle plain loaf with honey if desired
14. Garnish the stuffed loaf with gorgonzola, figs, and bacon pieces, if desired
15. Bake 45 - 55 minutes, until golden brown and crusty
16. Cool on a wire rack

Adapted from About.com

Inspired by The Beeroness